15 Dec 2007
Hard-hitting political coverage
Who gives a damn about policy proposals? Who cares where presidential candidates stand on the issues? Apparently, what we’re really interested in is how they take their coffee, and what their coffee preferences might tell us (the voters, the American people) about our candidates’ “character and values.” Because, believe it or not, it’s possible to answer the coffee question wrong.
After all, readers, it’s not like there’s a war going on or anything. The press coverage of our last two presidential elections was almost completely driven by the political press corps’ character-based narratives. How do you like where it’s gotten us, readers? How do you like your endless war overseas, your frightening erosion of civil liberties at home, your executive branch openly and proudly claiming the right to spy on, imprison indefinitely, and even torture its own citizens, without warrants or oversight of any kind, all in the name of “national security”?
Who cares about any of that stuff? I’d rather not think about it… What kind of cheese do the candidates like to eat? What’s on their iPods? Would they be fun to spend time with at a backyard barbecue? Which of them would you like to drink a beer and watch the game with? That’s what matters.