Shorter Mark Noonan
Mark Noonan, phonin’ it in on a lazy Wednesday afternoon:
They go on to say that 90% of the world’s glaciers are shrinking – which sounds like a made-up stat simply because most glaciers are in pretty inaccessible areas and thus can’t be measured
[Note: actually, one scientist is quoted as saying that "as many as 90% of the world's mountain glaciers are getting smaller." I'll leave it up to your judgement whether Noonan's paraphrase ("they go on to say that 90%...") is accurate.]
Yeah, the only way to observe the size of a mountain glacier is to observe it with your own eyes, in situ. GLIMS is obviously a liberal hoax. How fishy does this sound to you, readers?
GLIMS (Global Land Ice Measurements from Space) is a project designed to monitor the world’s glaciers primarily using data from optical satellite instruments, such as ASTER (Advanced Spaceborne Thermal Emission and reflection Radiometer).
Some of this “worldwide database” stuff sounds suspiciously like the fever dreams of a One-World Government:
The GLIMS team uses high-resolution satellite images from the Advanced Spaceborne Thermal Emission and Reflection Radiometer (ASTER) instrument and the Landsat Enhanced Thematic Mapper Plus (ETM+), archived at the Land Processes Distributed Active Archive Center (LP DAAC), to track the size and movement of glaciers. For the first time, scientists will be able to assess and track glacial change on a global scale through a worldwide database of glacier information.
But never mind all that: it doesn’t matter, since Mark Noonan will not accept any observations as “definitive” unless there are measurements dating back to some unspecified length of time:
[continuing directly] and, more importantly, haven’t really been measured for any length of time which would permit us to say, definitively, that Glacier A is getting smaller overall than it used to be.
So, Shorter Mark Noonan: You can’t observe glaciers without being there, and even if you could, you can’t observe them forever. Ergo, global climate change is a big liberal lie.
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July 16th, 2008 @ 22:38
“Scientists say a warming Pacific Ocean means more moist air sweeping over far Northern California. Because of Shasta’s location and 14,162-foot elevation, the precipitation is falling as snow, adding to the mass of the mountain’s glaciers.
A warmer ocean causes more snow. There’s no dispute of global warming by Mt. Shasta’s glaciers growing. In fact, it proves the opposite.
July 16th, 2008 @ 22:42
For whatever reason, wingnuts just don’t like to think that human beings are behaving in ways which are having an impact on our planet’s climate. I guess it’s because they don’t want to do anything about it. To me, that’s the opposite of “conservative,” but there you go.
July 17th, 2008 @ 06:53
It definitely is the opposite of what conservatism once was. Teddy Roosevelt was probably the last real conservative to serve as a Republican.
They are the party of huge deficits that have given us a $9 trillion debt, warrantless wiretaps, anti-Constitutional, anti-Habeas Corpus, huge corporate bailouts and welfare, and on and on.
They are only conservative when it comes to social issues such as sticking their noses into people’s private lives, i.e abortion, contraception and stem cell research, which, as you said, is the opposite of what conservatism used to be.