Titus Pullo of Legio XIII Gemina stomps everyone’s ass until Patrick Stewart comes in to fuck him up. Then Lucius Vorenus, Titus’ centurio, has a rare pang of pity and destroys Patrick Stewart with his own ugly fantasy mace.

Science Officer Ash of the Nostromo, now exposed as a robot, waxes poetic about the alien.

A compelling argument for cloning, set to music.

I don’t have words to describe this video and it’s short, so just watch it.

By far the funniest parody of Der Untergang I have seen. “My entire army is retarded! I mean literally retarded! You promised me we put away all the retards back when we got the gays and the communists. So a few slip through. Fine. But a WHOLE ARMY OF THEM?”

I like all the God’s eye views in this video. Peter Jackson would be proud. The Red Army looks about ready to invade Mordor.

Ragnarok is a UK-based neofolk / folk metal band. Many of their songs are in Old English. No shit!

Today’s album is Disc One of Underground London (1995). This is a twelve-track compilation of British techno. I still listen to it fairly often, and it still sounds good, despite the fact that it’s now twelve years old. If you like electronic music, you will enjoy this compilation. Click on the album-cover image to download the album (in ZIP format):

Underground London (1995)

Track listing:

1. Sound Enforcer: “Flys and Cows of Coldharbour Lane”
2. Plantastik: “Merlin Street Magic”
3. Mark Broom: “Brick Lane Bagel”
4. Space DJz: “Hornsey Rise”
5. aD&T Project: “Centrepoint”
6. The Advent: “W10″
7. Soundscape: “The Ark”
8. Steve Paton: “Mean Streets”
9. Mandrill: “Traffic”
10. Spira: “Signals From South West Four”
11. Gigglatron: “Sprawl”
12. Sapiano: “Metropolis”

• 1983 — Jimmy Spicer, “Money (Dollar Bill Y’All)” (mp3) The single that started it all. It’s extremely simple and repetitive, but infectious, with a synthesizer making beeps and a voice saying “Dollar bill y’all, Dollar bill y’all, Dollar-dollar-dollar-dollar Dollar bill y’all.” Who would have expected the phrase to have such resonance?
• 1993 — Wu-Tang Clan, “C.R.E.A.M.” (mp3) From Wu-Tang Clan’s seminal debut LP, Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers). The chorus goes, “Cash rules everything around me/ C.R.E.A.M./ Get the money/ Dollar dollar bill y’all.” Wu-Tang Clan have always been critical darlings and are hugely influential. I believe all subsequent iterations of the “dollar bill y’all” meme to be spawned by 1993′s C.R.E.A.M., not the 1983 Jimmy Spicer single.
• 1997 — Nu-metal artists Limp Bizkit release an LP entitled Three Dollar Bill Yall$.
• 1997 — Coolio performs a cover version of Jimmy Spicer’s “Money (Dollar Bill Y’All)” on a compilation album called In Tha Beginning… There Was Rap (a collection of old-school rap standards covered by current rap artists).
• 1998 — R&B artist R. Kelly releases a double-LP entitled R., on which Disc Two, Track Four is “Dollar Bill,” which contains the lyrics “The dollar bill/ Dollar bill y’all, dollar bill y’all, dollar bill y’all.”
• 2001 — Ice Cube releases a “Greatest Hits” album, which contains a song called “$100 Bill Y’All.”
• 2007 — Swizz Beatz releases “It’s Me Bitches”, which contains a direct reference to Wu-Tang Clan’s “C.R.E.A.M.” — “Ring the alarm, man/ Call me the sandman/ When I drop beats I’m the one-man band, man/ Cash rules everything around me, C.R.E.A.M., Get the money, dollar dollar bills y’all/ Fuck it.”
• 2007 — Wyclef Jean‘s album Carnival Vol. II: Memoirs of an Immigrant has a hit single (featuring guest appearances by Akon, Lil Wayne, and Niia), entitled “Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill).” The song contains a direct reference to Wu-Tang Clan’s “C.R.E.A.M.” — “See, I’m-a tell ya/ Like Wu told me/ Cash rules everything/ Around me/ Singin’ dollar, dollar bill y’all/ Dollar dollar bill y’all.“

Excessive Force – Conquer Your House CD Maxi-single (1991)

Track listing:

1. Conquer Your House (6:33)
2. To Death (5:45)
3. Stupid Man (4:12)

Excessive Force – Conquer Your World LP (1991)

Track listing:

1. Conquer Your House II (4:55)
2. Conquer Your House (6:32)
3. Blow Your House Down (4:51)
4. To Death II (3:31)
5. Ride The Bomb (5:04)
6. We Like War (6:32)
7. Worship Me (3:24)
8. Finger On The Trigger (4:29)
9. Conquer Your House III (5:02)

I first heard Walter (now Wendy) Carlos’ Switched-On Bach when I was maybe eleven or twelve in its right vinyl EP form and it was the shit. He (now she’s) the guy (now gal) who wrote the score for A Clockwork Orange and Tron as well as releasing an album of wholly original material based on astronomical themes called Digital Moonscapes, but began with ‘realizations’ of classical—or, more appropriately—Baroque music. Switched-On Bach was the first of those releases and by far one of the most popular classical music albums ever released.

I may listen to stuff like Fuck the Universe by Craft more often now, but can’t pass up a release so good as Switched-On Bach…

The Young Gods – The Young Gods (1987 LP)

Track list:

1. Nous De La Lune
2. Jusq’au Bout
3. A Ciel Ouvert
4. Jimmy
5. Fais La Mouette
6. Percussionne
7. Feu
8. Did You Miss Me
9. Si Tu Gardes
10. The Irrtum Boys
11. Envoyé
12. Soul Idiot
13. C.S.C.L.D.F.

The Young Gods – L’Eau Rouge (1989 LP)

Track list:

1. La Fille De La Mort
2. Rue Des Tempêtes
3. L’Eau Rouge
4. Charlotte
5. Longue Route
6. Crier Les Chiens
7. Ville Nôtre
8. Les Enfants
9. L’Amourir
10. Pas Mal

Enjoy.

Click on the album-cover images to download the ZIP files.

Greater Than One: Index (1991 EP)

Track list:

1. Joy
2. Metal
3. Voice
4. Dubkiller
5. Harmony

Greater Than One: London (1988 LP)

Track list:

1. Now Is The Time (12″ mix)
2. Everybody’s Crazy
3. Techno Golden Beat
4. Peace
5. Slave
6. Computer Dub
7. Now Is The Time
8. Song For England
9. The Truth
10. Kunst Gleich Kapital
11. All The Masters Licked You
12. Dance Of The Cowards
13. All Men Are Boys
14. I Know Everything
15. Dear Ol’ Blighty

Gravitational Arch of 10 – Magnetic Gravity Arc Suite (1993)

1. Gravitational Arch of 10: Magnetic Gravity Arc Suite
2. Gravitational Arch of 10: Radio/Video Edit

Vista Humana (1994)

1. Vista Humana
2. Vista Humana (Ekxtra Plastik Tekxure Mix)
3. Vista Humana (Sleepwalker Mix)
4. Vista Humana (Nev Mix)

Readers, I think “Guerillas In Tha Mist” might be the most underrated rap album of all time. Its consistency is almost unheard-of by rap-album standards. Why it’s not firmly entrenched in the rap canon alongside Nas’s “Illmatic” (1994) and Scarface’s “The Diary” (1994) is a mystery to me. The fact that it languished in the bargain bins before going out of print and ending up in semi-obscurity is mind-blowing.

The symmetrical structure (you will see how track 1, “Capital Punishment In America,” is matched by the final track, “Inside Tha Mind Of A Black Man”), the lyrical wordplay, the characteristic West Coast beats — there’s not much wrong with this album. There is some very militant stuff on here, and it’s not for the faint of heart. A lot of anger and passion made it into these songs. If it doesn’t offend you, it will blow you away.

I bought this record when it first came out fifteen years ago, and I’ve listened to it a lot over the years, enough to be all too aware of its flaws. I have to admit that “Guerillas” falls short of perfection, readers, both musically and philosophically, twice:

1. Musically, I think the instrumental track “Lenchmob Also In Tha Group” is a pointless bit of filler. I think it’s meant to cleanse your aural palate, as it were, like a bit of pickled ginger with sushi, but it doesn’t fit in with the rest of the album, and let’s face it, it’s just plain wack. Its only merit is its brevity. One of this album’s many strengths is its admirable economy and punch. We all know that most rap albums are bloated out to extended runtimes with twenty minutes (or more) of asinine “skits” and pointless misfires. If it weren’t for “Lenchmob Also In Tha Group,” this album would have been completely filler-free.

2. Musically and philosophically, I think “Ain’t Got No Class” (which features a phoned-in performance by B-Real of Cypress Hill), a nasty jeering rant about female crack addicts, is an absolutely grotesque lapse. What were they thinking? Its mocking tone is completely at odds with the militant anger and energy that drives the rest of the album. Instead of being sympathetic to the “crackheads,” this track chooses to laugh at them. It’s a frustrating misfire, and a serious flaw.

Still, I think this is one of the very best rap albums of all time, and I recommend you give it a listen. It comes with my highest recommendation.

Track listing:

1. Capital Punishment In America
2. Buck Tha Devil
3. Lost In Tha System
4. You & Your Heroes
5. All On My Nut Sac
6. Guerillas In Tha Mist
7. Lenchmob Also In Tha Group
8. Ain’t Got No Class
9. Freedom Got An A.K.
10. Ankle Blues
11. Who Ya Gonna Shoot Wit That
12. Lord Have Mercy
13. Inside Tha Head Of A Black Man

“Nu Nu” was a hit in 1992, peaking at #26 on the Billboard Hot 100 in May of that year. As far as I can tell, Lidell Townsell never released an LP, despite what the “Nu Nu” CD insert said:

Lidell Townsell is a young singer/writer/producer from Chicago who has teamed up with Hula and K. Fingers (producers of “Summertime” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince) for this dance smash.

Nu Nu has invaded the dance floors and airwaves all across the U.S. and is the first taste of Lidell’s unique style that will be featured on his soon-to-be-released debut Mercury album.

“Nu Nu” is pretty infectious; the bassline is pretty hard to resist. My mother, after hearing it played on my sister’s stereo several times over the course of one afternoon back in 1992, asked my sister to please stop playing “that song with the driving beat.“ That was a pretty apt description, everyone in the house had to agree. The “driving beat” is what makes this jam so infectious.

Track listing:

1. Radio Apella (3:18)
2. Nu Club Mix (4:45)
3. So Fine Mix (5:09)
4. Hot Radio Apella (3:55)
5. Original Club Mix (5:06)
6. Nu Apella (4:54)

Enjoy.