Do All The Pornography You Want
Go on, readers! Do all the pornography you want! These days, you’re allowed to!
Jackie Mason, the painfully unfunny comedian, has come out of nowhere to monopolize the nation’s supply of Wingnut Kool-Aid, practically taking a bath in it.
Why does UCLA hate America? Why is that university in the vanguard of the Left/Liberal War on Christmas? Jackie Mason held forth on these topics in a very special episode of the Factor. Savor these fantastic exchanges, readers:
1. Rap Singers Tell You How To Kill People
O’REILLY: But we had a poll this week: 90 percent of Americans, 90 percent celebrate Christmas. But somehow, somebody has intimidated the CEOs of Sears and Wal-Mart and a lot of these other places. Who are these people?
MASON: First of all, there’s no constituency for it. If you — I’m telling you that the people who are making these complaints represent nobody but themselves. UCLA [sic] types, anti-religionists, secularists is what you talk about all the time. They’re people who have a guilty conscience about anything they might do that’s dirty or off-color or vulgar or obscene. Is there something wrong with a country that pornography is so popular and if, God forbid, if you question the rights of — to disseminate porn, right away it’s freedom of speech? You’re allowed to do all the pornography you want. You can’t challenge it; it’s freedom of speech. Rap singers tell you how to kill people day and right. You’ve been doing it on your show all the time.
O’REILLY: Right.
2. You Can Call The Ku Klux Klan
MASON: You can’t stop a rap singer from telling people to kill every Jew in the world or be gentile or be a short person or be homosexual, everybody. You know why? Because it’s freedom of speech. But if you want to say something good, talk about love and brotherhood by recognizing Christ as the savior and everybody wants to enjoy the merriment, all this is not allowed. The Ku Klux Klan is allowed to march and they’re allowed to holler “Ku Klux Klan,” but God forbid you had a Christmas tree in front of it. They wouldn’t be allowed. You can call the Ku Klux Klan, but if they said “Merry Christmas,” they’d be wiped out.
O’REILLY: But there has — there has to be a power behind this. I think it’s the George Soros crew. You know?
3. It’s In Now To Be Hip, To Be A Swinger
MASON: These are sick people. See, there’s — somehow it’s a popular thing. It’s in now to be — to hate religion. It’s in now to be hip, to be a swinger because they’re living a dirty, filthy, obscene, vulgar life, and they’re guilt-ridden about it. So any connection with religion somehow feels like an interference to their lifestyle. So they want to eliminate religion; they shouldn’t feel dirty.
4. Civil Rights = Anti-American
O’REILLY: How do you read the ACLU?
MASON: The ACLU are a bunch of sick people who fight for anything that’s anti-American, anything that’s dirty or vulgar, and they hate anything that’s respectable or decent.
This, readers, is an awfully strong dose of Wingnut Kool-Aid (Social-Conservative flavor). It combines some classic talking-points (”it’s in to be a swinger”) with some current favorites (”Merry Christmas, they’d be wiped out”), and goes into bold new territory by proclaiming civil rights to be “anti-American.”
This is really amazing stuff.
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December 7th, 2005 @ 13:54
These fucking idiots make the ACLU’s point for them. We should all–in Jackie’s words–”Accept Jesus Christ as our lord and savior”? How can he reasonably expect anyone to advocate for Christmas in government buildings or paid for with tax dollars when he recognizes the overt religious message that a nativity scene sends? O’Reilly really is scraping the barrel with his guests these days to help him make his straw man arguments about the threat to Christmas.
Another thing: Caddyshack II blows!
December 12th, 2005 @ 13:55
I have a novel idea: if a group of PRIVATE CITIZENS in a town want to get together and display a nativity scene or something else with a religious overtone so that they can feel like they are preserving something of their culture and heritage and remember those oft referenced “good old days”, lets all LET THEM! And let’s let them do it WITHOUT THE GOVERNMENT!
December 12th, 2005 @ 17:13
Sadiq makes my point: allowing the display of a nativity scene by private citizens without government involvement is not a novel idea–it’s the law. And it is a law that no one is breaking! No one is warring with Christmas and its celebration by private citizens. When tax dollars or government buildings are used however to promote the divinity of Jesus then it is clearly unconstitutional. O’Reilly and his ilk like feeding their narcisism by working up his idiot fans over the supposed outlawing of religious expression. If that fundamental right was under fire then I would certainly stand against it. O’Reilly has a particular religious identity and he prefers that it be held above the secular laws of this nation. He is specious and nefarious in his rhetoric and that sucks for all of the poor bastards he ropes in with his nattering.
December 12th, 2005 @ 17:34
This “War on Christmas” is such a complete and utter crock of shit that it’s amazing to think anyone could take it seriously. The conservative movement is predicated on a self-image of constant, endless victimhood and persecution at the hands of “elites.” Even though conservatives are in control of the country, and are able to dictate the terms and parameters of our national political discourse, they’re still wrapped up in that self-image of The Oppressed Minority. That’s why we’re seeing this foolishness.
December 13th, 2005 @ 03:28
God, please help liberals see their folly and help them to see the light of truth. You have blessed the United States and made it the lone super power in order that we may do your work of teaching and spreading freedom throughout the world.
Forgive liberals Father, for most know not what they do.
I will leave judgement of the treasonous sinners - who know exactly what they are doing - to you. - Amen
December 13th, 2005 @ 03:29
Dear God, please help liberals see their folly and help them to see the light of truth. You have blessed the United States and made it the lone super power in order that we may do your work of teaching and spreading freedom throughout the world.
Forgive liberals Father, for most know not what they do.
I will leave judgement of the treasonous sinners - who know exactly what they are doing - to you. - Amen
June 26th, 2006 @ 16:27
I hope Jesus rapes your liberal ass